Today marks the first day of living in Durham, North Carolina. Today is also the day in which I drove to every place in the Durham area with a chance of potential hiring to see if I could find a job. Boy did I end up in some strange places.
I applied to everything; a cupcake bar, coffee shops, bookstores, a hotel. I drove around for about 4 hours, jumping from store to store, handing out my resume to completely not interested employees, one of which had the nerve (or confidence) to hit on me (I mean hey, props to your sureness, random barista in a shopping center).
Today felt a little like one of those movies in which a recently divorced woman moves to Europe and is discovering a new, European city on her own, except I’ve never been married and I’m only in North Carolina. Still, I’ve never been here before, so it was a bit exhilarating walking streets my $9 Lauren Conrad sandals have never walked on before.
One thing I learned about myself today in my job hunt was, I enjoy listening to classical music in the car. Weird, huh? But it’s oddly relaxing, and puts me in a good mood. It makes me feel like I’m in a movie, and if you know me, you know I love feeling that way (refer back to my first post in which you learn that I idealize and romanticize literally everything).
Also, real talk, looking for a job sucks. It’s stressful and overwhelming and you have to be really nice to everyone you meet and smile a lot and act professional (not that I’m not nice and don’t enjoy smiling, it’s just kind of exhausting after awhile).
In the midst of walking random Durham streets, I came across a local artisan shop. I saw the words “local artist work” in the window, and I felt compelled as an art student to go in. It was a quirky shop, on the top level of a historic-looking building, filled with different crafty work. I walked through the store for a couple minutes, and just as I was about to leave, I came across this little stationary, a card, with a quote that both captured and motivated my heart.
Pictured above, you can read it yourself, but this little card read, “fall in love with as many things as possible in this big world.”
A little more about me, I recently ended a relationship in which I was in love, and it was one of the hardest things I’ve had to do, so naturally, love is a touchy subject for me. It’s so easy after loving someone in which it doesn’t work out to want to push love away, to not believe in it, or to not choose it.
But even though breaking up with this guy was extremely hard, falling in love was the most magical and exhilarating experience I’ve had. The idea of falling in love with as many things as I can shouldn’t scare me, because when you’re falling in love, it’s so beautiful. It doesn’t hurt, it brings you to life. And this little note card in a random craft store reminded me of that.
So, as I ended my day in a super Target buying off-brand Mac & Cheese (still unemployed, as you recall), I realized what I want this summer, and this year, to be about. Yes, I have to find a job, and job hunting is super annoying, but that’s not what this summer is about.
It’s about falling in love with as many things as you possibly can. Because falling in love awakens your heart and your soul and your mind, to things you didn’t even know were possible. So my goal for this summer, and I hope you’ll join me, is to not have a sleepy heart. Let it wake up. Let it experience. Fall in love, and don’t miss one moment of this crazy, chaotic, gigantic world full of things to fall in love with.
Zany Lady 